You Won't Mess Them Up!

How's everyone's year starting out?  

I was struck in the heart at my last homeschool mom's meeting. One of our group members brought a friend who was new to homeshooling.

Bless her heart, this sweet lady was a beautiful mess.  She was crying and questioning whether she was going to fail or mess up her daughter.  I said, "Hold on!  Any of you who have ever felt like that, please raise your hand."  Of course, every hand in the room flew up in the air!  

We've all been there haven't we?  I'm eleven years into this journey and would be a big ole liar if I said I didn't still wrestle with those kinds of thoughts.

If you are out there reading this in blog world and you are feeling these things, I just want to tell you that you are ok.

Did you get that and let it sink in???  

YOU ARE OKAY!  YOUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN ARE OKAY!

At that meeting, my friend Anne shared this with the new homeschooling momma:  "You know, the Lord is teaching me that I don't have the power to ruin my kids."

That struck me and has stuck with me ever since!

Seriously, think about that.  As Christians, we give our children to the Lord.  We fully recognize that apart from Christ we can do nothing!  We say, "You want me to WHAT?  You want me to homeschool my kids?!?!"  

We then move to, "Okay, well if you want me to do this, you better help me because I don't have a clue!"  

We usually make our plans and fumble for a bit, and then we get more humble and really cry out, "Father, help me!  I mean really help me because I don't know how to do this, and I think I might mess up my kids!"

If we can keep going, push past that stinkin' thinkin', and realize that when we invite God in and give it to Him, we no longer have the power to screw up our kiddos!  Nope, it's arrogant to think that way.  We've given them to the Father.  HE will be faithful to complete the good works He begins.

We don't have to fear!  GOD did not give us a spirit of fear!  It's not from Him!

Now sure, it will look different than the school system, but that's okay!  He had you teach them at home for a reason.  It's not supposed to look like traditional school.

I know that terrifies those of us who have been in the system for so long, but there is more than one way to do things.  Seek God for YOUR FAMILY.  

Don't worry about looking like someone else or telling others how they need to do things like you.  You shouldn't even have time for that if you are seeking the Lord for your family.

Relax and believe that if He called you to it, He absolutely will equip you to do it.  Then, walk forward in His strength and boldness!

Year Eleven!

Another year is underway friends!

That's right, Year #11 has begun!

We are three weeks in and things are going great!  

I was a bit apprehensive at first.  Of course, after just having surgery, I wasn't sure what I was ready to handle, but we also made quite a few changes in curriculum and activities.

I can say I am very tired right now!  However, I have so much peace that we are where we need to be, using what we need to use, and resting in knowing God is leading this ship!

Alex and Trey have started at a new co-op with amazing kids and like-minded mommas teaching various classes.  I get to teach Health and Introduction to Logic for high school credit!  I'm having a blast!

Garrison is taking one class at the same cottage school he was at last year.  All three boys are in a speech and debate club now.  We will travel some with that, but the families who were in it last year can't say enough about how fun it all is!

It's nice to feel like we are finally connecting in this community. We moved here in 2008 and it was our hardest move and felt like we may never find a network of people.

I'm thankful for the opportunities that lay before us this year.  I know it will stretch and grow each of us, but it will be a good, peaceful, and joy-filled process!

Garrison is 16 and technically a junior.  He will finish all of his high school credits this year though, so we aren't sure what next year will look like!  Alexander and Trey are in eighth grade.

Time sure has passed quickly.  Seems like just yesterday I was thinking, "Okay.  I can do this.  I can homeschool.  I can teach first grade.  How hard can that be?"

Now, here we are!  Eleven years later...and I know how hard teaching first grade can be!  And second and third and sixth and...

BUT!!!!!  I also now know how rewarding all those hard times can be and I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Lessons Learned in Recovery

Hey homeschoolers! I'm back!!!

I had to take a short break to rock this summer with a complete hysterectomy, you know, because that sounded way more fun than the beautiful beach vacation we had planned!

SCREEECH! STOP!

Yeah, I know, right?!

Well, after finding this specialist to figure out what the hootie was going on inside me, he was pretty sure all my girl stuff needed to go.

And he was right. Big-time right!

I was a mess of cysts and scars and adhesions and endometriosis and a fibroid...Eeeeek! I was down to one ovary anyway, and he had to fight through all that junk to get to the one I had left. In that process, my left ureter was severed and emergency repair was needed, etc, etc...(you can read more about that here if you want: http://www.ourpassionatepursuit.com/2014/08/after-hysterectomy.html )

So fast forward to one month later and here I am! I'm back and better! Praise the Lord!!!

I already feel tons of relief from the chronic pain I was enduring daily. I'm so excited to be able to be back on top of my sweet household, especially our home learning.

My compassion has grown oodles for other mommas (and poppas) who suffer. It is so hard to get through daily life when you hurt and can't make your body do all it needs to do.

My children have definitely felt it this past year. I'm so thankful for all the years I stayed focused and didn't give up training them in big and small things. They have persevered and done what needed done in their schoolwork and around the house. Of course it wasn't perfect, nor was it just how mom does it, but they did it!

They did it!!!

As homeschooling parents, we shoot toward the goal of getting our little learners to independence. When family illnesses or emergencies or just hard times arise, we get a chance to see what is sticking and what is not in our children.

Some things surprised me about my boys through this process. I learned that two of them still need a lot of accountability for the subjects they don't like. 

I observed that one of them is well prepared for the discipline of college work and will make a wonderful husband. 

I saw how well they can work together and some areas of character upon which we need to concentrate.

I was once again reminded that academic learning is usually less important than many life skills and that teaching children to love and honor others will carry them further than algebra in this life.

I learned that my youngest is definitely entering puberty and can be obnoxious to his older brothers! 

I realized that my oldest two have matured in many ways and need me less than I thought.

I learned that all three torment each other as a favorite pastime, but that the laughter that brings is the closest thing to their toddler belly laughs I hear now.

I learned that no matter how messy they can be or how often they don't necessarily do exactly what they are told, they do love me and asked several times a day if I needed anything.

I saw that when they knew I was in pain, they knew the best and most powerful thing they could do is pray over me, even if they couldn't fix it.

I realized I learned all of that, not from running around my house cleaning things or checking off that we got seven subjects completed. 

I learned it by laying in the bed recovering...listening, watching...

I believe God took what could have been a rocky time, and instead, placed me under His wing, allowing me to rest, rejuvenate, and realign for this next year.

He has whispered to me and directed me concerning these three. He has helped me plan and know the steps to take.

Am I at peace? Yes.

Do I have moments of anxiety? Yes. 

Yes, I do...still after ten years of homeschooling and eighteen years of walking daily with Him, I still fight concerns. 

But, now I know that I can truly turn right around and cast those cares on the One who cares for me. He is right here with me, ready to help on any given day.

So here's to a new season...to new life, new health, new memories, and new opportunities to see Him strong when I am weak!

Happy Home Learning!

Help! I Don't Know What to Use!

It's that time of year!  

You know...the time when you are trying to narrow down all the curriculum choices for the upcoming year!  

It's funny to me how some years I narrowed it down so quickly and the process seemed effortless.  Other years, oh my, I agonized, cried, prayed for days, drove my husband crazy, and lamented that I must be failing us all!

This coming fall, 2014, we will begin our 11th year of homeschooling.  Sometimes it seems like it has crawled by like an elderly turtle and other times it feels like I blinked and a year of life was somehow just gone.

Like everything else, homeschooling has seasons.  I would love to say that after this many years I can anticipate season changes, but I'm still not sure honestly.  Perhaps by the time I graduate all three boys, I will be able to offer some mommas behind me a little more insight. For now, I only know that there are times when you feel sure of things and times when you feel like its all falling apart!

I just encourage you to stay the course and remember that it is in your weakness that Christ is made strong.  You become less and He becomes more.  He will meet you where you are, and He will speak to you if you seek Him.  Sometimes it is in the midnight hour, but He will be there.  He always comes through somehow, some way. He promises to give wisdom to His children who ask Him for it...and to give it liberally!

There have been years that God led me to certain resources that seemed so strange or wrong for us or a particular child.  As I look back now, though, I see the beautiful tapestry God was weaving and it all makes sense. 

Rest.  Trust.  Listen.  Follow.  Believe.

He is working it all out, and He hasn't left you alone. Never, ever forget that He loves your babies more than you do!

Happy Shopping!

Here's a snapshot of some of my HS Momma friends after a day at a homeschool convention. Hang in there sweet mommas! We can do this! 

Glimpse of Days Gone By

It's kind-of sad when your little boys start transitioning from toys to electronics and sports and other things big guys enjoy more than action figures! But, every now and again, they pick up something that looks like a toy and you get little flashbacks in your mind as a momma.

That happened for me this weekend. Tom ordered a circuit set to teach Trey some things, as he is interested in maybe becoming an electrical or mechanical engineer someday.

Watching the two of them together just made me happy so I snapped some quick pics...which you moms know they never seem to understand the reason for, but we know it so we can treasure up those moments! (I even caught Alex with it later!)

Life Together

Our last move 5.5 years ago was our hardest. I don't know if it was because the boys were getting older and play dates were not as easy to find or what, but making good friends has been tricky. I've made some good momma friends, but sometimes ages/levels/genders of the kids don't mesh well. There are all kinds of dynamics, and you can know a lot of people but still not have that "click" for a good friendship.

I had many people praying last year for a breakthrough in this area for my boys, as they have felt so lonely. Finally, they are making some good, local friendships!

So thankful! Life is better when we do it together.

Blessed Are the Flexible

I am so happy to share that the new schedule has helped unbelievably!  

Both younger boys have stayed on task last week and this week! 

Wait...are you clapping?  I think I hear applause from all the fellow frustrated mommas out there!  (wink)

This can sure be a challenging journey, can't it?  What works for one child doesn't work for another.  The one curriculum you buy doesn't click in the mind of the next kiddo.  As soon as you think you have a routine that brings a good daily flow, something unexpected hits and throws everything out of whack!

Memorize this saying: Blessed are the flexible, for they don't get bent out of shape!

The best advice I could give about homeschooling is to remain flexible.

Realize that God says to train up a child in the way HE should go.  It doesn't say to train up a child in the way they should go.

It just happened this time that this particular attempt at a schedule has helped both boys, but I was already thinking in my mind that I needed to be ready to change it up for one of them if it didn't quite work.  I was keeping myself flexible!

The flexibility did come in this week when I saw how tired they were though.  We had some decent weather that allowed them to play outside and it wore them out.  The beauty of home learning is that you can also teach them how to take care of their whole self.

Learning to prioritize and take care of yourself emotionally and physically is just as important as learning academic subjects!  We don't have to jump up and rush off in the mornings so if I see a boy in puberty who I know will benefit from 10 hours of sleep and be more productive later, I'm going to let him sleep!

I had to be flexible and let the exact time to the minute go.  For me, I have done this gig long enough to think about that before I made the schedule, but for the benefit of those who don't know that yet, I wanted to share.  

The exact time isn't really the issue as much as being able to manage the time you do have and the tasks you have to do.  I am teaching my sons how life happens.  Some days you are just more tired than others and if you can rest, then do so!  Take care of yourself so you can be the best you possible.  But always rearrange things as you need to in order to meet your responsibilities.

I am also blessed to see the confidence both of my boys gained through implementing this new schedule.  They realized they can be as productive as their big brother when they want to be, and this was important for them.  They watch him and they see him be rewarded for his honor and responsibility.  They needed to see that they have the same opportunities and that we believe in them!

So stay flexible and keep trying new ideas.  Some will work.  Some will bomb.  But, eventually, you will find your groove and you will reap the precious fruit of a determined family!